Ok, so I have not blogged in a while. Nearly a month actually. I am not sure why it took me so long to catch on, but having four kids makes for a very busy summer. Between weekend trips, softball, swimming lessons, and so forth, I cannot seem to catch my breath. Right now I am in the middle of my most intense week so far.
Our day starts with a one hour drive, one hour of swimming lessons, and one hour drive home. Why am I driving an hour to get to swimming lessons? Shrug. It seemed like a good idea at the time. My good friend Melissa (who lives in Kansas City) is staying with her dad in Nebraska for two weeks so that our kids can take swimming lessons together. Like I said-it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So by the time we get home it is time for a late lunch, and then I have about two hours before I have to make an early dinner. Wanna know what I did for those two hours today? Housework...no, bible study...no, laundry...heck no! I took a nap. A nice, leisurely, nap. How did I do that with four kids? I have no idea. All I can say is, thank God for rented movies.
Following my much needed nap and a hasty supper we all headed to church for Vacation Bible School, where Matt and I are supposed to be co-leading the 6-7 year old class. I say 'supposed to be,' because my husband never showed up.
How dare he take all day flying home from some island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean that I have never heard of? How dare he call me from sunny Puerto Rico while I am dragging the kids home from swimming lessons? How dare he ditch me with eleven 6-7 year olds?
Even worse, I am so beat from yesterday's round that it took me a double dose of prescription med's and a nap just to keep from falling over. Ok, well maybe none of that was his fault. Probably the fault is mine for idiotically volunteering to do such things in the first place. :)
The real problem that I encountered tonight was that of my selfishness. I am in over my head, I am totally exhausted, I may not make it until Friday with losing my last marble. But...I must learn how to revamp my priorities to match God's and practice putting other people ahead of myself.
How can I sit there in God's sanctuary and complain to myself about how hard this week is for me? How can I focus so narrowly on my weariness when there are children sitting beside me who do not know the Lord?
When I look at those children through God's eyes I see a few who have loving homes where they are taught about God, I see a few from loving homes who do not yet know who God is, and I see a few from broken homes who have no hope. Who am I to complain about physical hardships when some of these children are unaware of their need for a Savior?
Forgive me for thinking only of myself, and thank You for reminding me of what is truly important. Give me the strength to carry out Your work. Teach me not to give in to my limitations, but to push through them. And thank You for the nap.