Wednesday, March 24, 2010


You'll have to bear with me because it's 11pm and I am wired on coffee and Thin Mints. I have had an epiphany and I just know you can't wait to hear it. :)

I have been ruminating for some time now on my social life, specifically, why I tend to make friends with men more easily than with women. I have finally figured it's all about the conversation.

Have you ever noticed that with women the conversations tend to center around the home? The kids, the house, the husband. Now don't get me wrong, I like to brag about my kids and complain about my husband as much as the next girl, I just don't like doing it all the time. Am I not a person outside of my home?

Within five minutes of meeting a woman she has learned all of your vital statistics: where you live, how long you've been married, how many kids you have; including all of their names, ages, sexes, and personal strengths. But what happens when the kids move out? Do you think I get to talk about something different then? No. After they move out I will be expected to regale new acquaintances with horror stories of sons and daughters-in-law, and flash up-to-date pictures of my precious grandchildren. Not that my grandchildren won't be absolutely precious (especially if they take after my side of the family) but should my life revolve around them?

Men are different. I have friends at school I've known for a year who don't even know how many kids I have. So what do we talk about? Everything else, that's what. We talk about writing, and people, and world events, you name it.

When I am at home I focus on my family, and I love them to death, but I am more than just a wife and mother. I am lover of God, of books, of people. I cannot focus on one aspect of my life to the exclusion of all else. I am a multi-faceted person, and I need multiple outlets.

Keep in mind, I am not saying that I want to get rid of my women friends, or stop talking about 'girl' things altogether. Where would I be without my friend Stacy to go shopping and giggle with as we inspect the rows of wrinkle cream that we almost need to use? Or without my mom and Judy, who I mostly talk to about my kids, but actually give me very helpful child-rearing advice? Or without my sister who lets me complain when I don't feel well or Melissa who encourages me to have fun and loosen up? Don't know where I'd be. Don't wanna know.

Love my girl friends. Love my boy friends. Love my husband. Love my kids. Love my family. Love writing. Love God. See? Multi-faceted me.


  1. Oh you will have adorable grandkids-trust me : )
    While your family will always be an important part of your life and conversations, I do believe it changes when the kids are grown. I love my family a LOT, but I too really enjoy a good theological discussion etc. I think I will go eat a thin mint-lol!

  2. I discovered this when I was still in high school - and those crazy girls didn't even have families yet. But, they bored me to tears. Well, 'they' being the girls who weren't my close friends and I still have plenty of them.

    The funny thing is - as I got older, I started running into a lot of men who were focused solely on only a few things: their homes (usually the lawn), hunting and maybe they would talk about their jobs.

    Enjoy them all wherever you find them.

  3. Diane-

    I too discovered that I liked boys better than girls in high school...but I thought it was just because I was boy crazy. :)