I had kind of a bad day today. Last night I was coughing my head off and couldn't get to sleep until after I had done a nebulizer treatment, used my inhaler, and drunk 2 Tbsp. of Nyquil. When I crawled out of bed this morning it was only to use the bathroom so I wouldn't pee myself when I coughed. I supervised the kids getting ready from school from behind the nebulizer mask, and then laid down on the couch and slept for two more hours.
Alyssa woke me up after Sesame Street was over and I moved in super slow motion for the rest of the day, eating breakfast around eleven and lunch around two this afternoon. Luckily I finished my homework for tonight's class yesterday, so the fact that neither my body nor my brain were working properly wasn't a big deal.
Later today, on my way to school, I realized that Matt has a meeting after work tomorrow and won't be home before I have to leave for class. So as I drove to school I was calling people in a panic, trying to find a babysitter for tomorrow afternoon.
While I was in class tonight I had two people ask me how I was. I still haven't figured out whether they were worried about me because I sounded like I was dying, or whether they were worried about themselves because they thought I had H1N1 and might give it to them. :)
I was feeling so miserable today that I actually started crying on my way to school, wishing I could just crawl into a hole and go into hibernation. But then I remembered one of the key principles of Christianity...When I am weak, He is strong. Today I was weak. But I remembered that Christ dwells in me, and He has enough strength to pull me through. In spite of how I felt today I managed to catch up on laundry, cook dinner before I left for school, and get an A on my assignment. Quite a feat considering how crummy I felt.
People make comments to me all of the time; people who know about my health struggles, that I have four kids, that I am a full time student, and that Matt travels way too much. They are amazed at all that I am able to accomplish. But the fact is, I am not able to do all of these things. I am weak. My body is weak and my heart is weak. The only way I am able to keep all of my juggling balls in the air is by asking Jesus to hold them up for me.