Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Night on the Town

Went to the Celtic Woman concert tonight with my BFF Stacy. Found out going to see great musicians in concert is a popular pastime for senior citizens. The average age of the audience was between 50 and 70. You'd think that, at 31, I wouldn't fit in. But shockingly, I did. I completely related to the menopausal women in front of me who kept fanning themselves with their computer-printed tickets. I may not be menopausal, but I sure play the part well, thanks to my broken thermostat (the one in my brain, that is). Also lost a race to the parking lot after the show. The winner: a 70-something, white-haired grandmother. Should have been embarrassing, but...well, come to think of it, it was kind of embarrassing.

We went to Applebee's after the concert for conversation and 1/2 price appetizers. Ok...we actually went there to get dessert. Don't judge me!

By the time we left the restaurant I was unable to walk in a straight line, so Stacy had to guide me to the car. No, I was not inebriated. It's called MS, people! As I drove Stacy to her apartment she expressed concern that I was swerving the car in front of the police station. "Don't worry," I told her. "After I fail the field sobriety test they will have to give me a breathalyzer. Then they will know that I'm not drunk."

For some reason, that worried Stacy even more. "How do you know you'll fail a field sobriety test?"

"Well," I answered matter-of-factly, "I know I can't pass one this time of night, drinking or no." Fact - I can't walk a straight line after 10 pm. My ability to reason tends to decrease as well, so it is a good thing my auto-pilot works. Luckily, the path from Stacy's house to my house is already pre-programmed in my brain.

You know, people make fun of me because the kids dishes are color-coded. Ash gets green, Andrew blue, Abby yellow, and Alyssa is pink. Each kid has their own preferences when it comes to food - Ashley gets more corn, Andrew won't eat gravy, Abby gets the biggest helping of broccoli...etc. But when the brain no worky it helps to have color-coded plates, because the auto-pilot still works and I can automatically dish up the correct servings.

Personally, I blame my narcolepsy medication for this late-night brainlessness. The drugs keep my body awake, but don't affect my brain, therefore turning me into a (crookedly) walking zombie.

P.S. Celtic Woman kicked butt. I'll take three-part harmonies and a killer violinist over rap "music" and twangy songs about Indian Outlaws any day.


  1. (GASSSSSP) How dare you go against your roots and say anything less than wonderful about Indian Outlaw!!!!!!

    P.S. I love Applebee's desserts too, I blame you for my great taste! :)

    Patient in Affliction

  2. You rock, and I'm even going to say anything about the senior citizen comment including the women who are "50" ish in that group (We'll talk about that later young lady! hehehe). Glad you had a great time and now I know to include your late night driving in my prayers for you. Be safe, I love you!